.... to be back!
Maybe just for a few hours though. So! We're of to a the countryside this weekend. Trying to suck the last little bit of life out of the summer.
Oh, I really think I would love living someplace else for at least six months a year.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I wanna learn that too...
For my Swedish friends...
I've been reading through all the media from Frizon and I'm stuck with this guys blog. He's got the concept! This is what blogging is about, more than that narcissistic yada yada so many of us, myself included, tends to get lost in.
Way to go:
Emanuels Karlstens blogg på Dagen.se
I've been reading through all the media from Frizon and I'm stuck with this guys blog. He's got the concept! This is what blogging is about, more than that narcissistic yada yada so many of us, myself included, tends to get lost in.
Way to go:
Emanuels Karlstens blogg på Dagen.se
Ready? My theory by Anne Elk (miss). This theory goes as follows and begins now
I've spent a lot of time with Monty Pythons flying circus this summer. In airports, at nice summer evenings in Spain and in trying to recover from the festival fatigue. I believe I have decided that this is my all time favorite. John Cleese... what a man.
We've played all our cards...
A thousand things to write, yet, I haven't told anyone about this address yet so... it doesn't really matter. It's all for me so far.
Anyways, went to se the movie Mamma Mia last night. Was expecting some lame light entertainment with some classic hits in it. Was actually surprised. Of course it is really quite silly and unrealistic, but, hey what romantic comedy isn't? But I enjoyed it way more than I thought, quite a little happy pill.
I've always, for some reason, summed up my relationships in songs. Until recently at least, there's some changes in that department as well... A whole other story. Back to the subject. Watching that movie last night brought me back to one of the songs that accompanied the end of one of the greatest friendships stories in my life. You know, that one, that you know has to end, cause... there's just nothing left but emptiness and tears. Well, maybe you don't know, maybe that has only happened to me, nothing I wish for anyone else. But I have one of those. There's no agony, no anger, no feelings of affection left. There is peace. And there is rarely any trips down memory lane nowadays (but when i t does happen, I do seem to write about it, so the blog might think I'm lying...). But there will always be a sad smile on my face when I do think back. There will always be a small hole in my heart that no happiness can fill. It's controllable, sane and quite healthy even, but it's there. And I remember playing that song on repeat when I realized it was over. Yesterday it came back vividly again. There are no regrets. Life proceeded according to plan and I'm better off. Not in a "ha, look at me now"-way but in a "Yeah... I see it now, this is how it was supposed to be"-way.
But... I realized again... that in some stories there is no turning back. There is no ten years later down the road we'll meet again and talk old memories. It just changed you too much, robbed you of too much. It would just remind you of the hurt and who it turned you in to. It would remind you of the years you spent trying to get your head back above water. And it will just never ever be worth it. You wish the best in the universe for that person but no... no shake of hands. It's just asking too much.
Anyways... That shallow happy Abba movie just made me think of that...
I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me, now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say, no more ace to play
The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Beside the victory, that's her destiny
I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all
Anyways, went to se the movie Mamma Mia last night. Was expecting some lame light entertainment with some classic hits in it. Was actually surprised. Of course it is really quite silly and unrealistic, but, hey what romantic comedy isn't? But I enjoyed it way more than I thought, quite a little happy pill.
I've always, for some reason, summed up my relationships in songs. Until recently at least, there's some changes in that department as well... A whole other story. Back to the subject. Watching that movie last night brought me back to one of the songs that accompanied the end of one of the greatest friendships stories in my life. You know, that one, that you know has to end, cause... there's just nothing left but emptiness and tears. Well, maybe you don't know, maybe that has only happened to me, nothing I wish for anyone else. But I have one of those. There's no agony, no anger, no feelings of affection left. There is peace. And there is rarely any trips down memory lane nowadays (but when i t does happen, I do seem to write about it, so the blog might think I'm lying...). But there will always be a sad smile on my face when I do think back. There will always be a small hole in my heart that no happiness can fill. It's controllable, sane and quite healthy even, but it's there. And I remember playing that song on repeat when I realized it was over. Yesterday it came back vividly again. There are no regrets. Life proceeded according to plan and I'm better off. Not in a "ha, look at me now"-way but in a "Yeah... I see it now, this is how it was supposed to be"-way.
But... I realized again... that in some stories there is no turning back. There is no ten years later down the road we'll meet again and talk old memories. It just changed you too much, robbed you of too much. It would just remind you of the hurt and who it turned you in to. It would remind you of the years you spent trying to get your head back above water. And it will just never ever be worth it. You wish the best in the universe for that person but no... no shake of hands. It's just asking too much.
Anyways... That shallow happy Abba movie just made me think of that...
I don't wanna talk
About things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me, now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say, no more ace to play
The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Beside the victory, that's her destiny
I don't wanna talk if it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense, no self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all
Monday, August 11, 2008
That festival is trouble...
So...
It ended again. That Frizon festival thing. And it is dangerous. It means trouble. It messes with me. Just... just check my blog from a year back on the same subject. It's the same darn thing.
How do I earn my money today?
What do I make of that money?
Is either of it for the benefit of God's kingdom on earth?
If the answer is no... then what the heck do I do about it?
Im not saying the answer is no... I think I... I hope... I do some good where I'm at right now. But meeting all these beautiful people. Meeting these girls on their way through life asking directions from silly old me... Standing in front of stage when my friends delivers the toughest challenge ever... This is our time. This is the time to do this.
And what am I doing? What should I be doing? Gah... Hate that place.
(The pic is from last year. The brilliant painter Tomas Munkas Larsson did this painting on stage during one of the services, the world "Igen" means "again". Broke something in me. )
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